“No, that’s just perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the Universe has that.” ~ Douglas Adams

Today I was given an assignment by my friend/partner in crime, Sax, to go forth and purchase bracelets. Because his current fancy is designing jewelry, he wanted to see a sampling of how a few designers in SL position their bracelets, which attachment points work best, etc. It is worth mentioning that Sax is a RL artist with a professional history of drafting, commercial design, and illustration that goes back, oh, forty plus years. He spends a lot of time examining reference materials and existing works both on the grid and IRL before he begins to create his own stuff.

Which basically means I get to shop for research and reference materials, but call it assisting.

Anyway, while making a list for my purchases today, I saw some bracelets in a blog entry and I liked the way they fit the model’s arm, so I went to the store to buy them. The store had frustrating navigation and my connection the last few days has been the suck, so after fumbling around for a few minutes without any luck (but lots of lag), I did an area search for the item name and teleported to the result. I was bounced around, the screen locked up for a few minutes and then I was back home. I suspected I’d run afoul of a security orb, but I wasn’t sure if it was my destination, or if I’d had a lag spike mid-way and hit it there, so I went back and repeated the process. The second time, it was clear that I’d stumbled upon someone’s workshop as there were random prims scattered all over. So I left. Ahead of the “your ass is being teleported home” thing, I would like to add.

To be clear: I don’t mind people using security systems. If they want to keep a work area private above a store, there’s very little choice. I have friends who squat on my property and they run low lag security systems to keep their homes private. Also, many shops today use residential looking houses as stores so often there’s little way for someone like me to know I’m moving from a public store to a private space unless there’s a security notice.

But, really, other than keeping people out long-term, anyone with the sense God gave a grasshopper should know that security systems in SL do very little. They will boot someone after X minutes, but the invader is still going to get a peek at your kinky lair no matter what and if they’re running a copybot viewer, they don’t have to be in the security system range to capture everything on the SIM. The only real benefit is keeping people from loitering where you don’t want them.

So, I had to grit my teeth against the annoyance of other people’s ignorance when, ten minutes after moving on to my next shopping location, I got an IM from a paranoid manager monkey of the previous SIM.

Paranoia Puppy: Hello, I’m the manager from STORE… was there something you needed. The area you are repeatedly trying to enter is private.
Salome (salome.strangelove): Oh I left. I was trying to search for the X bracelets and the location it said they were booted me
Salome (salome.strangelove): I did an area search and a teleport. I didn’t realize it was your workshop area until the second time.
Paranoia Puppy: The X bracelets were part of the Y Event, they are no longer available unfortunately.
Salome (salome.strangelove): I figured. I saw them in a blog. Thank you for letting me know.

I think “repeatedly” rates an as *almost* on the eye-roll meter when it was exactly twice and several minutes had passed between my final attempt and her IM. But, for the most part, up to this point, I didn’t have a problem. There’s no reason current designers / store managers / random paranoid disorders should know me or my reputation. My profile does show I’ve been in SL since 2005 and most griefers are 1 day old, but I’m assuming she didn’t look at the profile. So I have no problem explaining the confusion to give someone a little peace of mind. Had the conversation ended here, I wouldn’t have thought twice.

But, of course, it didn’t end there. Because Paranoia Puppies who gain a false sense of security from things that are just placebos are not content unless they can bully their misinformation upon others. With a dash of threat thrown in for flair.

Paranoia Puppy: You’re welcome. I would suggest not using area search on shopping sims, as a lot of creators have their workshop areas above their stores and could lead to you being perma banned by a security system.
Salome (salome.strangelove): If I get banned over a misunderstanding that’s up to the creators. But I will take your suggestion under advisement.
Stereotypical Paranoia Puppy: enjoy the rest of your day

First of all, I want extra credit brownie points for not responding with “Bwwwaaahahhhaaaaaa. And if I chose to come back on 10 different alts every day just to make you ban them and demonstrate that your sense of power is an illusion, will your next security measure be to toss a pail of water on me and hope I melt?”

Seriously, these people are using our virtual oxygen and there are too few cornfields to house them, so they’re just out there wandering on the grid creating things for cabbage patch avatars with cowboy hips. Can someone drop a house on them already, please?

Although being semi-polite does get rid of them and keep them from running crying to their plurk friends. So, maybe discretion is the better part of that valor.

But, just to make things clear for the kids in the cheap seats:

Dear Paranoid Creator Monkeys of the Grid,

You may not be aware of the following, so please educate yourself:

A. Banning shoppers from your SIM for poking around a little hurts no one but *YOU* and your sales. Doing this when your SIM has lousy navigation is a double stupid sundae with a short bus cherry on top.
B. Putting scripts into your items to make it difficult to rez them is annoying and hurts *YOU* and your reputation. Adding a script that informs you of this so you can IM the person who had the gall to think they should be able to rez their purchase elevates you from paranoia puppy to crazed stalker.
C. Making things no-mod for no reason (except your false sense of security) so that your consumers can’t customize their purchases hurts *YOU* and your repeat business. Because unless your customers are as stupid as you, they will opt for products with more consumer friendly options. And there’s a lot more competition out there on the grid than the old days.

Thank you for your kind attention,

Salome

Now that I’ve beaten that horse to death, it must be mentioned, the real fault of this lies on Linden Labs. The tools SIM owners are given to manage their regions are spectacularly insufficient for privacy. Like most of the other problems with SL, the root of the problem is that no one at Linden Labs development seems to use their own product, or communicate with people who do. Second Life is a three dimensional world, but the few security options we have are painfully two dimensional. There should be a way to block entry by altitude, but there should be a lot of things.

If wishes were horses I’d own I’ll Have Another (go Belmont!).

Not. Enough. Cornfields.

“Protecting Second Life users’ privacy and security is a priority…” ~ Linden Lab “Community Manager”

You know. Just…arugh.

Over the last few months, although I have spent a marginal amount of time in Second Life, I have been inundated with unsolicited spam. My email is flooded with offline messages from stores I don’t want to hear from and people I don’t want to hear about. When I log in there are dozens of non-subscribed spam advertisements waiting for me. These are not in-world groups I am part of. These are not stores or venues I’ve elected to receive information from. There are people who have harvested my UUID via listeners and/or vendors to add me to their lists.

I cannot express how much this negatively impacts my SL. It’s to the point where I almost don’t want to shop in a new store because I know it will lead to a notecard back and forth after days of “HEY — Guess What’s New at CrazyBitches Lingerie!” spam. What started as a sigh is now a major annoyance. Some of the ethical ones at least provide means of removing yourself from their lists, but they will sign you right back up again if you make another purchase or visit their locations. Music venues and performers have also gotten into the game. Hey you took pity on them and tipped their tacky lagfest of a joint, so that must mean you want to hear all about their “HAWT DJ” playing all those “KINKY SONGS U LURVES 2 GRIND 2.”

It’s funny, isn’t it, how the unethical are almost always bad spellers and seem to feel the liner notes to Prince albums are the Rosetta Stone of online communication.

By my reading (and anyone who has a lick of common sense) this is a violation of SL TOS section 8.3, but the language is too vague for most of these idiots to be convinced their behavior is wrong.

If Linden Lab really wants to take user privacy seriously, they need to cut the legs out from under this trend. The horse might be out of the barn, but he still hasn’t cleared the gate and it’s easy to put firm language into the TOS that makes it clear this practice must be restructured ASAP into an altered method that respects the rights of all residents. Joining someone to a group that is not able to be unsubscribed via the UI is not acceptable unless that person deliberately and willingly opts-in. Easy-peasy. There are four main issues that must be addressed:

1. All non-SL advertising groups must be opt-in; the opt-in act cannot be “silent” or implied and must be an intentional choice on behalf of the subscribed resident.
2. Objects and avatars sending scripted inquiries regarding group joining are limited to one request every sixty (60) days per UUID, unless the invitation is offered at a group-affiliated location and both the requester and the requested are present at the time of request.
3. Opt-Out instructions with SLURLS must be included with every outgoing communication and opt-out methods must be maintained on property available to the public.
4. Any avatar UUIDs gathered for advertising purposes cannot be sold or shared.

#1 gets rid of the current popular scapegoat these people are hiding behind these days. The “oh, you touched my vendor and got a notecard so that subscribes you to my group” line, which is a sister of the “oh you visited my venue and stood next to my tip jar so that subscribes you to my group.”
#2 keeps you from being harassed over and over when you’ve already opted out, unless you’re on someone else’s property and they are the ones asking if you want to join. If it’s their place, to my thinking, they have the right to make requests and anyone that doesn’t like it has the right to leave.
#3 provides the requirement for people to be able to unsubscribe without the “oh, sorry, my IMs got capped and I didn’t see your request” tune.
#4 is completely unenforceable, but should be on-record position of Linden Lab.

These do not address the language barrier issue that some residents are sure to bump into, and I’m not 100% clear on how to protect against that. I’m not familiar enough with non-English interfaces.

So that I’m clear, I am not against “ungroup” group advertising. I actually prefer it for the three stores and two performers I’m subscribed to that utilize these systems. And I do not even mind being asked by a host or host item of a store or venue I am visiting, or even of a product I’ve purchased if I want to join a group. But I do think that they should have to ask and not just harvest. And I do think that once I say no, it should mean no for at least sixty days unless I take the initiative in the other direction.

Not all of this can be enforced perfectly in every circumstance, but most TOS can’t. By putting unequivocal language and guidelines in place, Linden Lab can take a big bite out of the offenders and get ahead of what is certain to get wildly out of hand, especially for consumers who could be encouraged to spend in SL and not penalized with spam.

To give you an idea of what I have to deal with each time I log in, here is one excerpt from my recent interactions:

Below is the notecard I send to anyone who spams me with advertising I did not opt into:

Hello,

You are reciving this note because you are the owner of [OBJECT] that sent me the below message from [LOCATION] on [DATE/TIME].

[BODY OF SPAM]

I did not request to be part of your non-group advertising list. If I made a purchase at your store and/or visited your location that was neither direct nor implied permission for you to spam with me unsolicited advertising. I consider unsolicited advertising an inconsiderate and offensive act that negatively impacts my enjoyment of SL.

Your practices and behavior are against the spirit of SL Terms of Service, Section 8.3. Please familiarize yourself with this section and restructure your group to an opt-in system. You should also include unsubscribe information in your communications if you do not already do so.

The Second Life Terms of Service can be found here:

https://secondlife.com/corporate/tos.php?lang=en-US#tos8

Please remove me from your group spam list immediately. If I continue to receive unsolicited advertising from you or any other member of your group, I will consider it harassment and report it via the proper channels.

Salome Strangelove

Here is one of the more polite, if illiterate replies:

Hello Salome, ty for shopping at our shop , on my regions are several subscribers if u received a notecard from one of our subscriber meend u are subscribed in one of them. We dont have the time to colect names arrownd SL and to place them in our subscribers + is against TOS … all our subscribers group members was subscribed by them self. Maby coz of lag or by mistake who knows u touched one of our subscribers,.. dont worry i can remove u. In all our messages we write about unscribe from our group peoples have 2 opptions to send us a notecard OR to go to subscriber group ( object ) and click unscribe.
Have a very nice day .
[name withheld]

It is worth noting that the above letter is a lie. I did not by accident or on purpose touch a subscriber at this person’s shop. I did purchase several of their products. So the method she gives for how I must have been subscribed by accident isn’t true. I was subscribed intentionally by their system by purchasing one of their products. Basically I have been punished for being so foolish as to give them money for their products. But because this store is allowed to employ a silent subscriber system, they can make up any story they like about how I must have been subscribed “by accident.”

This person did the right thing as far as I can tell and removed me from their list. I haven’t gotten another notice so far. But it annoys me that I had to waste my time sending a notecard so that I could be lied to by someone with the writing skills of a prepubescent newt. Most of the people I get notes from are not so nice (lying aside) and half of them simply ignore my requests until I am forced to mute and/or report them — which is only effective until they switch the ownership of the spam unit to another resident.

I am not a “hey, let’s make a blacklist” kind of girl, but I’m seriously considering maintaining an offender list of shops, avatars, and locations so people can be warned not to shop or visit places that behave in this way. Maybe if it stops being profitable, we can change their behavior without waiting for Linden Lab to wake up and care.

“If you don’t like what’s being said, change the conversation.” ~ Jon Hamm as Don Draper in Mad Men, “Love Among the Ruins” (via Cathryn Humphris, Matthew Weiner, Kater Gordon, Andre Jacquemetton, and/or Maria Jacquemetton)

The dust-up of the last couple days over the shift in TPV policy has led to a great deal of frustration and head scratching. These days I am so disgusted with Linden Lab that I just vent and move on because trying to guess what they’re up to can depresses me even more than their repeated failures on so many fronts. After my little grrr yesterday, however, a friend of mine revived a conversation we had several years ago about advertising in SL.

Frustrated by the lack of promotional venues and methods for small time event planners and shop owners, I had kicked around a few ideas with some code monkey friends. One was a HUD that featured an advertising panel and allowed users to pull demos and/or LMs from magic box type devices owned by the advertisers. I always felt it was a viable idea that could do well if implemented with integrity and a focus on the things users would want to learn about (thus compelling them to use them), but the enormous task of creating an automated process for it, and the potential for abuse made it one of those things you kick around with friends and leave for another day that never comes. Over the years I have been bewildered as to why Linden Lab or a TPV hasn’t implemented something similar into a viewer, however. The Eudora model, for example, was to include low profile advertising in free versions of the software, with paid versions able to opt-out of the advertising.

Linden Lab hasn’t really been able to establish a good reason for people to move to paid accounts. Nor have they shown any interest in what consumers want out of their viewers. Their innovation mostly comes from struggling to keep up rather than connecting with users to bring new features into the fold. So why this new pretend concern over user security and privacy? And why make that out to be a TPV issue, when the problems rest in the Second Life format itself? What motive is there to take a stronger hand with TPVs under the guise of security when they could have fixed the UUID loophole anytime over the last several years?

For those of us who just don’t trust the Lab anymore, reading tea leaves to figure out their true motives is something of a hobby and I keep coming back to advertising.

If Linden Lab did want to introduce paid advertising into their viewer, one of the first things they’d have to do is find a way to force more users to want to use their viewer. Obviously, kneecapping the competition and forcing them to keep to your pace is one way to stack the deck and make yourself appear competitive. But that won’t solve the entire problem. Since Linden Lab continues to take the coward’s way out of anything addressing adult products, they can’t ever really get behind the insanely popular RLV systems. That means a significant percentage of their userbase (or at least their userbase’s alts) will never use the Linden Lab viewer. The only way to downplay that fact is to keep it hidden.

If you’re going to try and woo advertisers, you don’t want them to be able to collect data that proves 80% of your users aren’t using your product.

So, keeping these things in mind regarding priorities for advertising, let’s look at the following again:

2.i : You must not display any information regarding the computer system, software, or network connection of any other Second Life user.

2.k : You must not provide any feature that alters the shared experience of the virtual world in any way not provided by or accessible to users of the latest released Linden Lab viewer.

No collecting, sharing, or displaying data. No feature that alters the “shared experience.” Maybe it’s the old corporate girl in me, but this sounds like someone preparing to make themselves sexy to advertisers by forcing their product to appear competitive against superior products and hiding when it’s not.

If this theory turns out to have any validity, I really don’t have a problem with viewer-based advertising being implemented. What would bother me, however, is the tactics being employed to get there. I say “would” because this is just my theory and I’m not suggesting anyone be tarred based on a theory.

Maybe I’m a fruit loop and it will turn out that Linden Lab is sincerely moving in a new direction of cooperation with a focus on meeting consumer demand. But I just don’t believe it yet. I have a memory and Linden Lab has squandered an enormous reservoir of goodwill through ineptitude, arrogance, and duplicity. To pretend that they suddenly deserve the benefit of the doubt doesn’t jive with me. Maybe they’ll earn back the trust of users like me, we’ll see.

In the meantime, I can’t help seeing ulterior motives beneath the surface. Especially when the surface is coated with vague sweeping language and masked in blame toward TPVs for Linden Labs’ own failings.

Linden Lab announced new Third Party Viewer Policy Changes recently, which has everyone who actually uses a viewer that matters in a bit of a snit, including me. As usual, this was done without any notice or insight into the real user experience and is presented with the customary baldfaced lies masquerading as community focus. Let’s review, shall we:

Third Party Viewer Policy Changes
02-24-2012 02:06 PM – last edited on 02-24-2012 02:16 PM

Protecting Second Life users’ privacy and security is a priority, and today, we’ve made some changes to our Policy on Third Party Viewers to strengthen those protections for all users (Section 2.a.iii, 2.i, 2.j).

User privacy and security is a priority? Since when? For the last seven years users have been begging for privacy features that Linden Lab has flatly refused in official announcements or completely ignored. All of a sudden they care about privacy? Isn’t there anyone on the current board left with a memory or, you know, a drop of shame?

We’ve also updated the policy to be clearer about the sorts of innovations that developers should work on for their particular Viewers (Section 2.k), and which they should work on in partnership with Linden Lab for all of Second Life. This is so that we can avoid the problems that result when a Viewer changes the way elements of Second Life are defined or how they behave, in such a way that users on other Viewers don’t experience the same virtual reality.

We use Third Party Viewers because we WANT to experience different virtual reality and immersion from what the miserable Linden Lab Viewer offers. Once again, our world, our imagination is your way, the only way. What corporate monkey made this decision? And why should any Third Party Viewer work on what Linden Lab wants them to when most TPVs are aimed at addressing consumer demand and Linden Viewers are aimed at Lab priorities with no regard for user needs? The only “problems” this avoids is consumer choice.

Here are the new sections of the policy:

2.a.iii : You must not provide any feature that circumvents any privacy protection option made available through a Linden Lab viewer or any Second Life service.

Linden Lab don’t provide privacy protection; they never have. Linden Lab offers a band-aid over the track anyone by UUID issue — something anyone with basic LSL knowledge has been able to circumvent since 2004 with ANY viewer. Why not just fix that at a server level and then the TPVs can’t exploit it? While you’re at it, are you going to remove the online status and last logged information from group profiles? Are you going to address the fact that if someone IMs me, they get evidence I’m online regardless of what status I’m choosing to display? And why present this like it is a TPV issue as opposed to a Linden Lab fail that has been with us from the start?

2.i : You must not display any information regarding the computer system, software, or network connection of any other Second Life user.

2.j : You must not include any information regarding the computer system, software, or network connection of the user in any messages sent to other viewers, except when explicitly elected by the user of your viewer.

Making Viewer display opt-in is fine with me, but the display ban is pathetic. This is an obvious ploy to hide the fact that 80% of the customer base rejects the Linden Lab base product, and to prevent people from learning about new viewers based on seeing what others are using. I support making any feature that broadcasts user information opt-in, but once a user opts to make that information available, there is no reason to ban the display of that information except Linden Lab cowardice over the fact that consumers reject the official viewer in staggering numbers.

2.k : You must not provide any feature that alters the shared experience of the virtual world in any way not provided by or accessible to users of the latest released Linden Lab viewer.

Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot. Seriously? If Linden Lab doesn’t implement it, no one can? We have to wait on Linden Lab to fix and implement when they have repeatedly ignored consumer demand officially as well as through laziness and incompetence? Are they that threatened by people like Qarl working on user-sponsored projects that point out how pathetic the basic Labs viewer priorities are?

This is the point where the consumer base will just start ignoring Linden Lab entirely as they did at the start of TPV interest. Screw the approved TPV list. Users will opt for unapproved TPVs and Linden Lab will spin their wheels banning all their residents and killing their own product. This will, of course, lead to less security for users. Which is where we started with the TPV issue. Bang up job, guys.

We encourage Third Party Developers to continue innovating with unique user interfaces, niche features, and ways of interacting with the virtual world, and we look forward to working in partnership with developers on ideas they have for new or improved shared experiences for all of Second Life. We want to incorporate more innovative new features into Second Life to improve the experience for all users, and we encourage TPV developers to submit proposals through our standard process.

I don’t have enough profanity in my vocabulary to address this last. For Linden Lab to pretend that they have done anything but follow their own agenda and ignore customer demand throughout the last five+ years of their product development is deeply dishonest. To act as though TPVs should invest any time, effort or trust in their collaboration when Linden Lab has repeatedly screwed over partners without warning (education, enterprise, etc) to chase their latest whim borders on some sort of corporate bi-polar disorder.

“…most look silly, and others look dumb…”
~ MC Hammer, “Turn This Mutha Out”

Let’s begin this post by stating clearly that I am not opposed to full-figured avatars; I quite like them. Broad hips have been a sign of sensuality and fertility pretty much since the dawn of humankind, and a curvy gal strutting her stuff has my unqualified “you go girl” support. This post is not about projecting a negative body image onto the otherwise hiptastic.

This is not about shape; it’s about style.

I try to keep a sense of humor about some of the trends that pop up in SL “fashion.” When every other blog post in the feeds was some girl sporting elf ears with a hundred piercings, it gave me a chuckle. When the “I’m so hip and urban” kids were constantly wearing their lycan paw boots that make them look like a Budweiser Clydesdale in phat pants, it was a riot. The salvation in those situations that let the amusement flow was the fact that these were niche products by second or third tier designers. No harm. No foul. No need to call in the troops.

However.

When a top designer chases a horrible trend, it stops being funny. Why? Because time wasted making fashion abomination could have gone into something really nummy (like a modern take on Scarlett O’Hara’s beaded burgundy party gown that I’ve been dying for a top quality designer to attempt since…ever!).

So, I have a question. WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS? And THIS? And THIS? And THIS?

This is not a celebration of the female form. This is not emphasizing curvy hips. This is not even drop-crotch low hanging grunge / hip hop baggy retro ickiness. This is some sort of conspiracy or social experiment or mad virtual design serial killer gone wild and the grid needs a serious intervention.

Ladies, please take a long look at your avatars. If someone could ride on your ass like a camel hump and/or if you could pass as a stand-in for Grimace in a McDonald’s commercial, you need help. And it’s okay, we’re here for you. The first step is admitting you have a problem, and well, you’ve seen the photos so that should be easy. The second step is to go into your inventory and do a search for “Spirit Store” and just delete anything that comes up. Sure there might be a good item or two in the mix, but you simply cannot take the chance. Next, drop a notecard on ShaySibrian (creator of Celoe’s Nikola Trousers) and explain to them that you have a problem, but you’re in recovery now and they should not waste another MOMENT of their amazing talent on parachute pants. You bought them while under the possession of a fashion demon or something, but you’re doing much better now and they should not use your pre-exorcism purchase to skew their data in regards to user feedback. There isn’t enough mesh on the grid yet for Hammer pants to get a turn. You don’t want to be responsible for this sticking.

Finally, turn to the mirror and repeat to yourself “The walrus was Paul and if he doesn’t dress like one, neither should I.”

Seriously, kids. It’s all fun and games until someone ends up with cement hips and an ass full of Fix-a-Flat.

If you feel yourself slipping remember that all of the below are BAD BAD BAD:

Saggy Bottoms: What Not To Do

And if someone you know is suffering from this affliction, remember: Friends don’t let friends dress like weeble wobbles.