“No, that’s just perfectly normal paranoia. Everyone in the Universe has that.” ~ Douglas Adams

Today I was given an assignment by my friend/partner in crime, Sax, to go forth and purchase bracelets. Because his current fancy is designing jewelry, he wanted to see a sampling of how a few designers in SL position their bracelets, which attachment points work best, etc. It is worth mentioning that Sax is a RL artist with a professional history of drafting, commercial design, and illustration that goes back, oh, forty plus years. He spends a lot of time examining reference materials and existing works both on the grid and IRL before he begins to create his own stuff.

Which basically means I get to shop for research and reference materials, but call it assisting.

Anyway, while making a list for my purchases today, I saw some bracelets in a blog entry and I liked the way they fit the model’s arm, so I went to the store to buy them. The store had frustrating navigation and my connection the last few days has been the suck, so after fumbling around for a few minutes without any luck (but lots of lag), I did an area search for the item name and teleported to the result. I was bounced around, the screen locked up for a few minutes and then I was back home. I suspected I’d run afoul of a security orb, but I wasn’t sure if it was my destination, or if I’d had a lag spike mid-way and hit it there, so I went back and repeated the process. The second time, it was clear that I’d stumbled upon someone’s workshop as there were random prims scattered all over. So I left. Ahead of the “your ass is being teleported home” thing, I would like to add.

To be clear: I don’t mind people using security systems. If they want to keep a work area private above a store, there’s very little choice. I have friends who squat on my property and they run low lag security systems to keep their homes private. Also, many shops today use residential looking houses as stores so often there’s little way for someone like me to know I’m moving from a public store to a private space unless there’s a security notice.

But, really, other than keeping people out long-term, anyone with the sense God gave a grasshopper should know that security systems in SL do very little. They will boot someone after X minutes, but the invader is still going to get a peek at your kinky lair no matter what and if they’re running a copybot viewer, they don’t have to be in the security system range to capture everything on the SIM. The only real benefit is keeping people from loitering where you don’t want them.

So, I had to grit my teeth against the annoyance of other people’s ignorance when, ten minutes after moving on to my next shopping location, I got an IM from a paranoid manager monkey of the previous SIM.

Paranoia Puppy: Hello, I’m the manager from STORE… was there something you needed. The area you are repeatedly trying to enter is private.
Salome (salome.strangelove): Oh I left. I was trying to search for the X bracelets and the location it said they were booted me
Salome (salome.strangelove): I did an area search and a teleport. I didn’t realize it was your workshop area until the second time.
Paranoia Puppy: The X bracelets were part of the Y Event, they are no longer available unfortunately.
Salome (salome.strangelove): I figured. I saw them in a blog. Thank you for letting me know.

I think “repeatedly” rates an as *almost* on the eye-roll meter when it was exactly twice and several minutes had passed between my final attempt and her IM. But, for the most part, up to this point, I didn’t have a problem. There’s no reason current designers / store managers / random paranoid disorders should know me or my reputation. My profile does show I’ve been in SL since 2005 and most griefers are 1 day old, but I’m assuming she didn’t look at the profile. So I have no problem explaining the confusion to give someone a little peace of mind. Had the conversation ended here, I wouldn’t have thought twice.

But, of course, it didn’t end there. Because Paranoia Puppies who gain a false sense of security from things that are just placebos are not content unless they can bully their misinformation upon others. With a dash of threat thrown in for flair.

Paranoia Puppy: You’re welcome. I would suggest not using area search on shopping sims, as a lot of creators have their workshop areas above their stores and could lead to you being perma banned by a security system.
Salome (salome.strangelove): If I get banned over a misunderstanding that’s up to the creators. But I will take your suggestion under advisement.
Stereotypical Paranoia Puppy: enjoy the rest of your day

First of all, I want extra credit brownie points for not responding with “Bwwwaaahahhhaaaaaa. And if I chose to come back on 10 different alts every day just to make you ban them and demonstrate that your sense of power is an illusion, will your next security measure be to toss a pail of water on me and hope I melt?”

Seriously, these people are using our virtual oxygen and there are too few cornfields to house them, so they’re just out there wandering on the grid creating things for cabbage patch avatars with cowboy hips. Can someone drop a house on them already, please?

Although being semi-polite does get rid of them and keep them from running crying to their plurk friends. So, maybe discretion is the better part of that valor.

But, just to make things clear for the kids in the cheap seats:

Dear Paranoid Creator Monkeys of the Grid,

You may not be aware of the following, so please educate yourself:

A. Banning shoppers from your SIM for poking around a little hurts no one but *YOU* and your sales. Doing this when your SIM has lousy navigation is a double stupid sundae with a short bus cherry on top.
B. Putting scripts into your items to make it difficult to rez them is annoying and hurts *YOU* and your reputation. Adding a script that informs you of this so you can IM the person who had the gall to think they should be able to rez their purchase elevates you from paranoia puppy to crazed stalker.
C. Making things no-mod for no reason (except your false sense of security) so that your consumers can’t customize their purchases hurts *YOU* and your repeat business. Because unless your customers are as stupid as you, they will opt for products with more consumer friendly options. And there’s a lot more competition out there on the grid than the old days.

Thank you for your kind attention,

Salome

Now that I’ve beaten that horse to death, it must be mentioned, the real fault of this lies on Linden Labs. The tools SIM owners are given to manage their regions are spectacularly insufficient for privacy. Like most of the other problems with SL, the root of the problem is that no one at Linden Labs development seems to use their own product, or communicate with people who do. Second Life is a three dimensional world, but the few security options we have are painfully two dimensional. There should be a way to block entry by altitude, but there should be a lot of things.

If wishes were horses I’d own I’ll Have Another (go Belmont!).

Not. Enough. Cornfields.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Lately in SL I have been *loving* the new Petite Avatars from Yabusaka Loon. I know that I’m generally a cynical wench, but !zomg! the cuteness — it burns.

Petite Avatar - Perspective

The promotional materials say that the avatar is 1/3 the size of an average avatar, but given that everyone in SL walks around pretending they are 8′ tall, the Petites really come off as smaller. In my Petite I am roughly the size of the bar taps at my new build (pay no attention to the supernova going on in the background, selecting Windlight settings still confuses me).

There are a growing number of small mesh avatars available on the market using any number of keywords like Mini, Micro, etc, but right now my preference leans toward the Petites from Yabu because there is an active community surrounding them and an ever-increasing range of products for them. Yabu’s are a little pricy (roughly L$1400 for the base avatar which comes with an outfit — BUT NO HAIR — with another L$300 for the human head add-on if you don’t want big elf ears) but there’s no question of the quality of the product. It’s also mod and created to accept the same template all SL skins use. So if you are handy in PS/GIMP and have access to Eloh Eliot or other skin files, you can customize your avatar. Yabu also makes mesh clothing templates available for free so that clothing designers can use the same textures they’ve uploaded for full-size clothing to offer as petite clothing. So if you’re like me you can throw a template at your favorite designer and annoy them until they give you your favorite outfit.

Not that I would ever do that.

Petite Avatar Outfits

In addition to the Petalwing lingerie from Solange that I’m wearing in the beer tap photo, there are designers like *G Field*, RFYRE, and Evie’s Closet making goth, fantasy and casual wear. Wasabi Pills has Petite-sized mesh hair and there are accessories like eyes, wings, and even armor. (You can shrink down a lot of non-mesh hair, but more on that later).

On my Seven Veils Sim, my new shopping center build, The Promenade hasn’t officially launched yet, but my friends and I have been inspired to release our own Petite stuff. Sax has scaled down his darling Harmony and Drop Stone necklaces and his naughty Nip Chains for Petites (full size avatars can find them at his Frills shop):

Naughty Nip Chains For Petites

Petite Necklaces From Sax Shepherd

The Script Shanty has put out a Petite version of the particle play magic wand:

Petite Magic Wand

And I’ve even gotten into the act with a little Fallen Log Fairy Home and Pose Set:

Petite Fairy Fallen Log Home & Pose Set

I’m not sure why the Petites don’t bother me the way the full sized dolls did. I suppose the Petite avatars are obviously a playful costume to romp around in while the full size mesh dolls feel more like a first step onto the road to homogenizing the grid (the standard sizing movement behind mesh clothing is already walking that uneasy line between necessity and one size fits all blah). I’m hoping Doll Coco will hop onto the trend. I would enjoy flittering about in COCO offerings of different heads and clothing as a wee nibblet in ways I never would have enjoyed full scale. Anyone with influence please poke her about that, please.

There are some quirks worth mentioning. First, mesh attachments that aren’t sized for the Petite avatars aren’t going to work. Non-mesh attachments (like hair) can be scaled down, but might take a little trickery. I have a tutorial available for free, along with a help script at Sax’s Petites & Pets store. Additionally there are three problems that Petites encounter on a regular basis. I call them gunslinger arms, turtle eyes, and lewd pygmy.

Petite Avatars - Gunslinger Arms

Every so often the arms of Petite avatars go a little wonky and bend out from their bodies like they’re trying to quick draw. This can be easily fixed by going to Avatar > Avatar Health > Stop Avatar Animations. I’m not sure of the exact cause but I suspect that bending and twisting the default avatar down into a lewd little pygmy has something to do with it. Speaking of lewd pygmy, when you try to switch back to your full sized avatar from your Petite, your avatar will look a little something like this:

Petite Avatar - Lewd Pygmy Problem

Inno, rite? Eww. Although I’ve gotten a few things claiming to fix this while still logged in, they haven’t worked for me and I find I have to relog to fix it. If you’ve relogged and you’re still all lewd pygmy, then you should do a character test (Develop > Avatar > Character Test > Test Female/Male) and then log in/out and put you regular avatar back on. This reminds me so much of the old SL bug where you’d TP somewhere and find all your attachments stacked up your bum.

Ahhh, memories.

Finally there is turtle eyes, where the eyes of your Petite hide in the shell of your head:

Petite Avatars - Turtle Eye Problem

The solution here again seems to require just logging out and back in, but I’ve had to do that multiple times on occasion to get they eyes back to normal. Whatever you do, DO NOT try to pull the eyes out and adjust them. It’s not a pretty picture. You will be scarred for life.

Okay, that’s it for my Petite Avatar Round up. Go drink the Flavor Aid and get your tiny on, already.

Where Does She Get Those Wonderful Toys:

Petite Avatars and Many Outfits/Accessories Are Available At Petite Avatar Kingdom

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/YABU/52/90/24

Sax Shepherd’s Necklaces, Naughty Nip Chains, & my Fallen Log Petite Fairy House @ Petites & Pets on the Promenade

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Seven%20Veils/224/164/502

Petite Magic Wand @ The Script Shanty on the Promenade

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Seven%20Veils/223/34/502

Petalwing Lingerie @ Solange

http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Dream%20On%20Bay/89/126/33

“I’m a former hippie, so clothes are important to me – your clothes defined you in that period. I guess clothes still define people. But, I change a lot. I’m in my Brooks Brothers period now.” ~ John Hughes

Hippie Chic Ensemble

When I was a little girl, hippie and gypsy style clothing was the height of yum; it was long, straight hair and peasant blouses as far as the eye could see. So, when I saw the Ana hairstyle from Burley I had a squee fit that set off a David Gates soundtrack in the little girl lobes of my brain.

The bulk of this outfit comes from League, with the exception of the hair, the corset and boots, and I’ll get to those piece by piece.

First the Gypsy Tunic blouse from League is a nicely textured top with wonderfully billowing sculpted sleeves. League features some of the best textured system-based items on the grid today in my opinion. It amazes me how they convey so much character with the detail of their items. This gypsy style blouse is not an easy trick to turn (trust the girl who spent *years* in SL whimpering for peasant blouses). The system layer textures are delicate with minor folds and planned imperfections (like the lopsided, drooping tied bow). This detail is carried into the folds of fabric on the sculpts which lend femininity and break up the fixed shape that otherwise might come across as more bulk than breeze.

You see the quality in texturing again in the Merino Leggings that feature shade and highlights to create sheen without too much shine. So many creators in SL take this too far and you see girls wandering around in liquid latex instead of that whisper of luster that comes from silk-based hybrid textiles. IRL when a fabric like charmeuse is woven with lycra to make items like stretch leggings, they don’t cast a wet paint gloss. These leggings are perfect in the presentation of just a hint of shine while still providing the illusion of a tactile surface.

Hippie Chic Hair Problems

As you can see above, Burley‘s Ana hairstyle has a few drawbacks. Like all non-mesh long hair in SL right now it really only looks good when you’re staring straight ahead and bent slightly forward. I also reduced my breast size. These are unavoidable construction limitations for the moment and it’s easy to forgive them when you look at the detail in this style. The little fly-away loop that is caught in the leather band enchants me. And I love the way the hair is indented and shaded to emphasize the path of that band.

The base wig provides the long mane in the back and the chest-length sections in the front; there is a lower add-on section if you want to extend the front sections down to waist length. The style also comes with roots and no roots. IRL roots are not a style I embrace, but in virtual worlds I often find that things which don’t work in the real world are details that trick the eye and help with immersion. This is why often shadows work to build an immerse environment, even when they are placed somewhere that wouldn’t necessarily make sense with the light source.

The hair is heavily scripted and I had a moment of “ugh” when it showed up in inventory as no-mod, but that turned out to be an artifact of the scripts; I had no problem editing the hair manually or removing the scripts.

Hippie Chic Corset & Belt

The really great find of this outfit has to be the Celstine Dream Mesh Corset. If mesh provided nothing else but delicious corsets like this, it would have been worth the trouble. I love the antique brocade texturing and the oh-so-nummy chocolate sash and bow. The creator doesn’t seem to have much inventory, and as far as I can tell she’s only on the Marketplace, but what a hidden treat this item is. It comes with the necessary alpha and a notecard to help you adjust your body settings to make it work. I know many people balk at adjusting their sliders to fit mesh items for the moment, but is it really any different than sucking in and zipping up your skinny jeans? I’ve taken to making adjusted copies of my shape and tucking them into folders as needed. The whole point of a corset is that it changes your shape anyway, so it seems somehow appropriate.

The Crochet Belt with the little sculpted tassles attachment is another quality item from League. It comes with a matching necklace, but the long hair made that item moot and I had my eye on other jewelry. This crochet belt is a textured-on system layer item I would have killed to have back in the early SL shopping days. It is the perfect topper for making way-too-low bottoms slightly less low. My only complaint about it is that it doesn’t come in other colors.

Hippie Chic Jewelry

Switching to Truth‘s Velvet piggie buns to showcase some jewelry lovin’. This is the Coin Collector Jewelry Set, again from League. Other than little bell anklets it doesn’t get more gypsy than coin jewelry. You’ll have to click the image above to go to the full size verison (or take my word) to appreciate the detail at work. The gunmetal chain isn’t just a solid lace, but a linked chain and each coin dangles from equally detailed links. The aged copper and brass coins contrast well with their buffed gold cousins and the set features the necklace and a bracelet for each wrist. It’s a nice costume jewelry staple that will work for multiple earth-tone casual outfits.

Hippie Chic Boots

Last, but not least are the Cairo Mesh Boots from Celoe which you have most assuredly seen in every SL fashion blog. I’m sort of over mesh boots in general as every designer has come out with a pair, but these worked exceptionally well with the outfit and they are a quality item. Not much to say here that hasn’t been said. The modeling on this product is excellent with the rounded toes and the gathers at the ankles. The texturing is equally well done with highlights that provide that slight sheen of brushed suede where it’s needed and shadows where they’re needed.

I suppose that’s all for now — I’m off to find a VW van. Peace, love and all that jazz.

Where Does She Get Those Wonderful Toys:

Gypsy Tunic – L$185
Merino Leggings & Flats – L$95
Tassles Necklace & Crochet Belt – L$115
The Coin Collector Jewellery Set – L$195
League | Nena Janus

Celestine Dream MESH Corset – L$50
Celestine Dreams Marketplace | Celestine Neutron

Cairo MESH Boots – L$760
Celoe | Jaden Celoe

Ana Hair – L$285 (Color Pack)
Burley | Bella Earst

“You can never have too much blue eyeshadow.” ~ Jamie Lee Curtis as Shelly DeVoto in My Girl (via Laurice Elehwany)

It may have been the squee heard ’round the grid.

I have been waiting for one of my go-to hair designers to put out a to-die-for piggy buns style. Although I’ve been enjoying the long hair and luscious updos available around the grid, they just didn’t feel like Salome. ETD‘s Patootie was pretty much my trademark for years of blogging and I expect you might as well get used to Truth‘s Velvet as my new default. It’s basically Patootie with loose tendrils, richer textures and color change bows. There is not enough squee in the world.

Truth's Velvet Hairstyle

Velvet, like the over-blouse I’m wearing, is part of the Stumblebum designer group promotion which, if you’ve never heard of before, basically means a bunch of designers get together, put in one item for a modest sale price and cross-pitch each others work. This type of thing is very much in vogue these days and can be quite a boon for both designers and shoppers. Unfortunately, it also means you’re going to see the same handful of items blogged to death because they are high-quality and uber-promoted, but having too much high quality easy-to-locate swag is definitely a problem I’m happy to have.

If the one-two punch of piggy buns with bows is too much for you, the bows can be made invisible with a click — setting phasers to stunning cuteness instead of killing cuteness. They can also be recolored with the same built in menu, of course, or manually tinted. They are L$50 cheaper by the pack than Truth‘s usual pricing structure and available in all the standard colors of his current line.

Over the years a lot of people have asked me why I chose the piggy bun style to latch onto and, well, my reasons were (and remain) both personal and practical. As a blogger, piggy buns rarely get in the way of showcasing products. They don’t stick through your chest in fashion poses and they don’t hide jewelry. Also, I’m a child of the 70s/80s, so like every other girl my age, I wanted to be Princess Leia when I grew up. And part of the joy of playing virtual paper dolls in SL is that I can revisit all my favorite dress-up desires from girlhood. It’s just that simple.

Baby Blue Casual Outfit

Right now, I’m not taking off my SLink Mesh Bare feet because I lurves them; I don’t care how banned I am from the Sim, they feed my inner happy. So while everyone else is buried under coats and scarves I’ve been tossing together casual fare that is barefoot friendly.

***NOTE***
If you’re also an SLink barefoot addict and haven’t been able to match them to your LAQ Ivory skin tone, here’s your settings:
Tattoo/Sock Base – “Light”: 244(r), 224(g), 210(b)
RGB Tint Settings for HUD (again, using the “Light” Base: 243, 223, 210
(Just type “/13 skin 243, 223, 210″ while wearing the HUD)
***NOTE***

As for the rest of the outfit, the over-blouse is the Soft Resolution Top from Kyoot which is also part of the Stumblebum promotion clan. The chemise is part of the Gypsy Chemise set — an oldie from Wisp Jinn of Wishbox. The Kyoot blouse is texture-only with no prim sleeves or collar and comes on all the layers you’d expect. It also comes with a pair of matching knee socks which are too cute for color TV (but would require the removal of my mesh feet). Best of all, it’s mod, so you can tint it (yay). I’m glad to see that some designers are still offering simple well textured fare and not just going mesh crazy. It lends hope that all the tools available will be utilized and not just the latest craze.

The gypsy chemise is a bit trickier. It comes in two packs – the base pack and an add-on. The sleeveless tube top version I’m wearing is in the add-on pack. If you want the prims for the sleeves, etc you’ll have to get the base pack as well. The packs also include skirts and other top options in multi layers but they are no-mod so no tinting. There are good images in the Wishbox shop to help you decide if you want them. I find they are tres delish for mixing and matching like with this outfit, but if you’re not a mixer they might not be worth the sheckles.

The denim mini skirt is from Jane — a store that is putting out a nice selection of template mesh items with great texturing. It’s a sweet little staple item for those of us who have fond memories of denim minis. I will say that the sizing of this product was tricky for me. In order to use the size that fit my hips (petite) I had to scale my leg muscles down about 20 clicks and shave a bit off my bum. The alternative was to have my legs and rear stay the same but use a wider mesh that gave me “ring around the hips.” This is a short-term problem since Qarl is on the case, but it’s worth noting that mesh items like this still require body tinkering to produce their ultimate yummy.

Kosh's Baby Blues & Ennui's Bleeding Heart

The gorgeous eyeshadow is Baby Blue from Kosh‘s Gala series – a lavish eye treatment that shouldn’t just be reserved for glam attire. Lynaja Bade of Kosh has some great cosmetic offerings including alpha and non-alpha eyelashes that I picked up just for a little lash variety (but haven’t had the patience to fit yet).

I was thrilled beyond words to find this necklace and earring set at Lassitude & Ennui. Over the last year, many old standard SL creators have finally thrown in the towel. But Jackal Ennui appears to have found a balance that allows her to still offer a modest library of high quality shoes, boots, jewelry and accessories. This necklace can be worn as a single or double strand and it comes with a low-lag scripted HUD that provides separate tinting of the pearls and metals. I went with the copper (in lieu of silver, gold or gunmetal) and actually tinted the pearls myself to match my outfit. This was something I could do because the jewelry is :::gasp of shock::: MOD.

See, jewelry designers, dogs and cats do not start living together if you allow your customers to MOD their purchases. Just sayin’.

Where Does She Get Those Wonderful Toys

Hair: Truth (Truth Hawks)– Velvet – L$200 Color Pack
Eyeshadow: Kosh (Lynaja Bade) – Gala Eyeshadow – L$199

Glasses: K_gs (koguma Kumaki) – Ellipse 1.03 – L$400
Jewelry: Lassitude & Ennui (Jackal Ennui) – Bleeding Heart Jewelry Set- L$390

Over-Blouse: Kyoot (Saeya Nyanda) – Soft Resolution Top – L$125
Chemise: Wishbox (Wisp Jinn) – Gypsy Chemise Add-On Set – L$199
Skirt: Jane (Janie Marlowe) – Mini Skirt Hadlee Denim Classic – L$125

“…most look silly, and others look dumb…”
~ MC Hammer, “Turn This Mutha Out”

Let’s begin this post by stating clearly that I am not opposed to full-figured avatars; I quite like them. Broad hips have been a sign of sensuality and fertility pretty much since the dawn of humankind, and a curvy gal strutting her stuff has my unqualified “you go girl” support. This post is not about projecting a negative body image onto the otherwise hiptastic.

This is not about shape; it’s about style.

I try to keep a sense of humor about some of the trends that pop up in SL “fashion.” When every other blog post in the feeds was some girl sporting elf ears with a hundred piercings, it gave me a chuckle. When the “I’m so hip and urban” kids were constantly wearing their lycan paw boots that make them look like a Budweiser Clydesdale in phat pants, it was a riot. The salvation in those situations that let the amusement flow was the fact that these were niche products by second or third tier designers. No harm. No foul. No need to call in the troops.

However.

When a top designer chases a horrible trend, it stops being funny. Why? Because time wasted making fashion abomination could have gone into something really nummy (like a modern take on Scarlett O’Hara’s beaded burgundy party gown that I’ve been dying for a top quality designer to attempt since…ever!).

So, I have a question. WHAT FRESH HELL IS THIS? And THIS? And THIS? And THIS?

This is not a celebration of the female form. This is not emphasizing curvy hips. This is not even drop-crotch low hanging grunge / hip hop baggy retro ickiness. This is some sort of conspiracy or social experiment or mad virtual design serial killer gone wild and the grid needs a serious intervention.

Ladies, please take a long look at your avatars. If someone could ride on your ass like a camel hump and/or if you could pass as a stand-in for Grimace in a McDonald’s commercial, you need help. And it’s okay, we’re here for you. The first step is admitting you have a problem, and well, you’ve seen the photos so that should be easy. The second step is to go into your inventory and do a search for “Spirit Store” and just delete anything that comes up. Sure there might be a good item or two in the mix, but you simply cannot take the chance. Next, drop a notecard on ShaySibrian (creator of Celoe’s Nikola Trousers) and explain to them that you have a problem, but you’re in recovery now and they should not waste another MOMENT of their amazing talent on parachute pants. You bought them while under the possession of a fashion demon or something, but you’re doing much better now and they should not use your pre-exorcism purchase to skew their data in regards to user feedback. There isn’t enough mesh on the grid yet for Hammer pants to get a turn. You don’t want to be responsible for this sticking.

Finally, turn to the mirror and repeat to yourself “The walrus was Paul and if he doesn’t dress like one, neither should I.”

Seriously, kids. It’s all fun and games until someone ends up with cement hips and an ass full of Fix-a-Flat.

If you feel yourself slipping remember that all of the below are BAD BAD BAD:

Saggy Bottoms: What Not To Do

And if someone you know is suffering from this affliction, remember: Friends don’t let friends dress like weeble wobbles.