“Television is like the invention of indoor plumbing. It didn’t change people’s habits. It just kept them inside the house.” ~ Alfred Hitchcock
Meat Salome’s Dog: Mommy, there have been too many people in my house lately.
Meat Salome: I know, honey. I don’t like it, either.
Meat Salome’s Dog: I allowed them to do that talking and walking stuff in my territory. Now they are making BIG BOOM noises outside. I do not like BIG BOOM noises.
Meat Salome: That is the noise it makes when you are tearing up the ground to pull out fifty year old cast iron pipes and replace them.
Meat Salome’s Dog: You are talking nonsense again. I don’t want them doing BIG BOOM stuff in MY yard.
Meat Salome: They have to. Otherwise the inside parts of the realm would get very unpleasant very quickly.
Meat Salome’s Dog: It sounds like an awful lot of trouble. I do not approve of trouble. I like the peace and quiet.
Meat Salome: It is about eleven thousand dollars worth of trouble.
Meat Salome’s Dog: What are dollars, again. You are constantly mentioning them as if they are important.
Meat Salome: The things we use to acquire all your royal trappings and snacks.
Meat Salome’s Dog: Wait. This will not cut into my strawberry and broccoli tribute, will it?
Meat Salome: There will still be strawberries and broccoli, Your Highness. It will just be very loud until they are done.
Meat Salome’s Dog: I did not approve of any of this. Hug me or I will continue to shake in righteous anger.
Meat Salome: Yes, Majesty, but you don’t need to be so upset. They will be done in a few days.
Meat Salome’s Dog: DAYS? That is not acceptable. Make them be done now. I have reached my human tolerance level for the month. I am too tired to even continue explaining my disapproval. Yell at them for me. And fetch me a treat.
Meat Salome: How about you just come up on the bed and crawl under the covers with me and we will wish them away together?
Meat Salome’s Dog: More cornfields?
Meat Salome: More cornfields.