“I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.” ~ Mae West

Must. Have. Now.

The Bad Apple

A print from the art collection of Matt Johnon. It’s the glasses. And the pointed toes. But mostly the glasses.

Hat-tip: Karl Elvis

James: Moneypenny! What gives?
Moneypenny: Me, given an ounce of encouragement. You’ve never taken me to dinner looking like this. You’ve never taken me to dinner…
James: I would, you know. Only “M” would have me court-martialed for… illegal use of government property.
Moneypenny: Flattery will get you nowhere – but don’t stop trying.
~ Lois Maxwell & Sean Connery as Miss Moneypenny & James Bond in Dr. No (via Richard Maibaum, Johanna Harwood, and/or Berkely Mather)

Lois Maxwell Will *Always* Be Miss Moneypenny

For me, Miss Moneypenny will always mean Lois Maxwell. Growing up, the Moneypenny scenes were always my favorite parts of James Bond movies. Yeah all the intrigue and action was fun, but the dialog between James and M’s brainy Gal Friday was the back-and-forth worth waiting for. Maxwell had a way of delivering her wit that defied the attempts of the script to cast her in a pining spinster sterotype. She gave as good as she got and her repeated attempts to lure Bond to dinner always seemed like more of a dare than a plea. She never came across to me as desperate, just bold and sassy and deep down I think James always said no because he knew she was too good for him. There was never a “Bond Girl” to touch her.

A cursory google image search does not immediately return any photos of Lois as Moneypenny in pencil skirts. Yet, in my head, I generally see her in one. All prim and chic in her turned-up collar, crisp white blouse or feminine, smart suits. Maybe that’s why, when I wandered into Whippet & Buck I immediately began humming Bond themes when I spotted two seperates that were destined to go together.

Whippet & Buck Pairing

This is the Victoria High-Waisted Pencil Skirt and Sgt. Pepper Cropped Jacket from Whippet & Buck and there is everything to love about them. First of all, the phrase “high-waisted pencil skirt” should come up in my inventory a hell of a lot more than it does because, you know, yum — but in this case, I’m in awe. This is a system-skirt-meets-jacket-layer and I DARE YOU to find the seam where the system skirt connects to the waist. I have never seen a system skirt fit as cleanly as this one.

Everything at Whippet & Buck is mostly about hand-drawn subtle detail. The shading is exquisite but not over the top. The pinches and gathers along the waist of the skirt, the hem stitching, the gentle white-on-white fold of the jacket collar, all of it is the kind of thing that really melts my butter. Alas, the back of the jacket is a little plain (I think it could have benefited from a little something) and the skirt does not come with a non-suspenders option (which I’ve already begged for from Kota and company), but as complaints go, those are whispers and not barks. I will be wishing with all my heart and watching for a high-waisted pencil skirt mini version of this. *hint* *hint* *nudge* *nudge*

Moving on, you’ll be shocked to learn that I wandered into a new hair store recently and walked out with…piggy buns.

Amacci "Olivia" Piggy Buns

It’s safe to say at this point that I have a piggy buns problem. I’m not sure what Carrie Fisher did to me in the 70s, but it’s clear that I’m still not over it. At any rate, if you’re not familiar with Amacci, you really should give them a lookie-loo. They have nice textures and some great long-hair styles, including the only good long hair styles I’ve seen for men. There is a sort of “fly away” trait to most of their wigs that I’m not 100% sure about. On one hand, I really like the natural sense of tendrils that cling to the back of the neck, etc but they seem to get a little carried away with it here and there. Of course, hair in SL is the one thing you can always count on for demo first / buy after experience that lets you know exactly what you’re getting before you buy. Amacci has a great inventory of product, including tattoo-layer hairbases and prim eyelashes and a host of other items. More than worth a field trip if they’re new to you, or it’s been a while since you made a visit.

The final part of the outfit is the most disappointing and that serves me right, because they’re shoes Miss Moneypenny would never wear.

Nova's High Society Heels

These are the High Society Heels from Nova which was one of the three purchases I made at the Shoe Fair. There is currently such a quality gap in the shoe market — which would be a lot less annoying if the price ranges reflected that. On that front, the High Society’s get good marks, however, because they are priced very reasonable for an open-toe mule that doesn’t offer prim toes. Currently, wearing stockings and open-toe means we’re stuck with system feet. I’ve seen a few prim foot shoes that try to offer stockings, but they don’t seem to quite hit the mark yet.

But back to these. As shape, style, and shading go, these got it going on. I like the tapering stiletto heel and the fit of the foot against the insole is good. In fact, the shaping of the system foot is one of the better I’ve seen — your foot doesn’t look like a sliver of orange peel flatted out like silly putty. I even love the idea of the draping satin ankle strap and bows, but that element happens to be where the shoes fail:

Nova's High Society Heels -- Issues

Perhaps because the designer was making a “sized for system foot 0″ shoe, I guess he/she figured they didn’t need to provide re-size or edit options, and that’s a shame because in order for these shoes to work on me, I desperately needed to bump the ankle strap back toward my heel about two clicks. In pretty much every movement and pose of my foot, they eat into the back and stick out way too far in front.

Prior to sculpts, I understood why shoes *had* to be no-mod. The designer’s settings and shapes were key to their craft and protecting their hard work was something we accepted. Tricks of invisiprims and basic prim magic were trade secret. But these days, invisiprims are on the way out and high quality shoes are all about sculpts and texture. So why do they deserve any more privilege of protection than the average hairstyle (which is almost always mod)? The time for no-mod shoes has passed, and I hope some designers will start to see that. For the amount of money we’re spending on shoes, we should be able to tinker and tint them, remove scripts, or add the re-size scripts we prefer.

Hope springs eternal, anyway.

Oh — and btw, although the suspenders might indicate otherwise, my Miss Moneypenny shouldn’t be confused with this Moneypenny.

Where Does She Get Those Wonderful Toys:

Sgt. Pepper Cropped Jacket – L$115
Victoria High-Waisted Pencil Skirt – L$200
Whippet & Buck

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Imogen/63/230/25

Twiggy Whippet / Dakota Buck

Olivia Style Pack – L$250
Amacci Hair

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Amacci/133/136/23

High Society Heels – L$249 (shoe fair purchase, unsure of store price)
Nova

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Filataponic/38/184/37

“There is luxury in self reproach. When we blame ourselves, we feel no one else has a right to blame us.” ~ Oscar Wilde

For those of you unfamiliar with Sondheim’s Into the Woods, there is a sequence where all the fairy tale characters in their make-believe world begin to blame each other for the tragedy of their current situation, which came about through a series of events and misadventures rooted in desire, foolishness, greed, innocence, innocence lost, guilt, vanity, unresolved issues, and lots of other human failings. It has been foremost in my mind while checking in on the Emerald issue.

If you’re not aware of the Emerald situation, a good-enough summary can be found HERE. For me, this summary is a bit too petting toward the Emerald team, but, well, there’s a lot of that going around. My chain of events goes like this:

A. Linden Lab failed to update their product in a way that met the needs of their user base.
B. A talented, but irresponsible segment of the user base created a third-party project for reasons unknown. This project became known as the Emerald Viewer.
C. Lots of people began to use Emerald, as it provided an improved user experience; few of these people knew anything about the team that created and maintained the project.
D. Questions began to arise regarding the reputation and integrity of the Emerald team and their motivations.
E. Despite there being lots of blogs and “news” about Emerald, no one in the blogosphere bothered to ask some point-blank “on the record” questions to the team (I personally sent two emails attempting to get an interview out of sheer frustration. They were never responded to, but then I don’t pretend to be a reporter or a talk show host so I’m sure I was easily ignored).
F. Despite there being no statement of ethics, obvious untruths in their blog posts, and several other low-grade warning signs, people with credibility spoke in support of Emerald and made it clear it was their viewer of choice.
G. The inevitable happened and a member (or members) of the Emerald team abused the trust of their users in a griefer prank. The prank, while not in itself very interesting or damaging, demonstrates a flagrant disregard for ethics, a lack of basic integrity and employed tactics which engaged an unwitting user base in ridiculously childish (and potentially criminal) behavior.
H. An Emerald team member that few people know from Adam posted an “I’ll fall on my sword even though I really don’t think I did anything wrong” non-apology apology; another Emerald member that few people know from Eve said she was stepping up to the plate to get everything under control. Then didn’t. Feel free to read the Emerald blog for more accurate step by step on this part.
I. Rabble, Rabble, Rabble.
J. Linden Lab issued their mock-outrage “we’ve taken care of this” farce statement while dogs and cats began living together (mass hysteria).
K. People began to issue “aww shucks, they’re just confused kids” type excuses for Emerald’s antics, others posted “we think it’s wrong, but everyone’s being so mean” type excuses, and others went the “they’re all a bunch of Nazis” direction. Because, you know, that’s how the interwebs work.
L. Linden Lab continues to fail to update their product in a way that meets the needs of their user base.

There is not enough facepalm in the world. Seriously.

The problem I have with this situation is that some people I like are on the insanely wrong side of this issue, and some people I find disgustingly vile are on the right side. So it’s frustrating. It’s like when you have to admit that the KKK is entitled to free speech. Yeah, it’s right, bt it makes you feel like you need a bath.

Yet, between all the hate-fueled “I told you so” mocking and the Eeyore “you guys are so mean” pouting, there is very little learning going on. It’s enough to make me climb a bell tower and take a hostage. Why? Because there are lessons here that are getting missed in the exchange and they are THE SAME FUCKING THINGS THAT HAVE BEEN GETTING MISSED ALL ALONG.

So, for next time, can we please review:

1. Linden Lab is not releasing a product that services the needs of their users. The buck stops there. If this isn’t where your bottom line on this issue rests, then you’re getting it wrong. Period.
2. If you think it’s shocking that some of the code monkeys working on Emerald had grief-genes, you’re an idiot. I assure you, every product on your computer right now likely had griefers or ex-griefers working on it. They just weren’t in charge, weren’t given a lot of power, or were good enough not to get caught. Save your outrage for the next episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey or something.
3. Third Party Viewers are a valuable tool, but they need to be investigated and held to task. Their project managers need to be interviewed and asked hard questions in a civil, responsible way — preferably by the people who claim to be delivering news to our community. If the names don’t mean anything to the average consumer, their reputation and integrity (or lack thereof) within the community needs to be made clear by anyone advocating the product.
4. When warning signs appear and then begin flashing in neon, YOU PAY ATTENTION and don’t just hem and haw and hope it all gets better. You certainly DO NOT put your name and/or reputation behind the mess unless you’re damn sure you’re right.
5. An active griefer is not going to behave just because you like them. Just because they haven’t griefed *you* doesn’t mean you can trust them not to behave like an idiot. Are griefers evil? No. Sometimes they’re even useful in a social way. But they’re generally irresponsible, juvenile and reckless on the fly. These are not the people you want in unchecked positions of responsibly in any format or project. You just don’t let an alcoholic tend bar, ffs.
6. You cannot cry about being deceived if you never did anything to educate yourself as a consumer. If you didn’t know about the Emerald team and used their product anyway, then just shut up and switch to Imprudence with the rest of us. Your right to bitch is exactly zero. Oh, and while you’re at it, check into the Imprudence team — don’t just switch to them blindly.

In the meantime, welcome to one of the big reasons the Second Life community continues to be bad-mouthed in technical and professional circles. When “he’s kind of a friend and I don’t think he’ll do anything bad” trumps obvious warning bells, when consumers bitch and moan but don’t educate themselves on their choices or advocate for their needs, when bloggers and journalists self-promote but don’t even try to get answers to hard questions, when “Ha ha ha you got what you deserved and I hope you all die” counts as a valid part of the general discourse — well, how can you take them seriously?

I’d really like it if we didn’t drive this self-hating cycle into the next race on the same tack. Pretty please? With sugar on top?

So stop crying “poor me,” quit making excuses for fuck-ups, back off blaming the branches and learn to identify the roots of a problem, refrain from engaging the hate-mongers, advocate and educate and just LEARN FROM THE FUCKING MISTAKES ALREADY so we don’t end up back in this same place. Ever. Again.

That is all.

“I love lingerie and feminine things…and if it turns (someone else) on — fantastic. But, no matter what, I’m getting off.” ~ Lorri Bagley

Now that I’ve got my rant out of the way, eet eez time to squee.

For *looks at wrist* a long time now, quality lingerie in SL has been limited to a handful of good designers. In fact, there are only three folders in my Clothes>Lingerie>Designers folder: Insolence, Intimizzio, and Solange. Occassionally, there are separates or ensembles that filter into the other folders (>bras >corsets >sets >stockings, etc). But as designers go, I’m generally not impressed. Let’s face it, there are scores of ugly, depressing stores out there claiming to offer “hot” or “sexy” or whatever adjective makes people embrace their inner slut and decide that “lingerie” includes ass-less short shorts. Don’t get me wrong — there is a time and a place for nipple tape, it’s just not when I’m in girly-girl dress-up mode and want to play in lingerie.

Yesterday, however, I wandered into Zaara. And that sound you heard last night that you thought was a mouse dying from cardiac arrest under your house? That was me, squeeing from thousands of miles away. I reached decibels even dogs couldn’t hear.

Zaara - Sumana Lingerie (In Crimson)

This is the Sumana Lingerie set from Zaara. For one of the few times in my fashion blogging career, I’m almost tempted to just let the photos speak for themselves. But you know I can’t. Although it’s hard to know where to start.

We could begin with the fact that the textures are sublime. The velvet panels really look like velvet. The satin bows really look like satin. The floral silk brocade really looks like silk brocade. This isn’t the same old “pretend” texturing. There is sheen and shadow and detail and it’s glorious.

The set comes with oodles of layer options — I’m wearing four of them:
(a) the strapless bustier is on the shirt layer,
(b) the cincher belt with garters is on the jacket layer,
(c) the panties are on the underpants layer, and
(d) the stockings are, obviously, the sock layer.

Zaara - Sumana Lingerie Stockings

Speaking of the stockings, the closest thing I have to a consumer concern worth mentioning is on them. While a lot of effort obviously went into giving the stockings character and not just leaving them as flat sheer textures with seams (squee!), they may not be to everyone’s liking. In a few cases, the shadows and highlights that were employed to give the impression of randomness in the fit of the nylon look like what happens when you over-stretch delicate fabric, or scratch it to the point where it scars but doesn’t quite run. I appreciate the work that went into this kind of reality. I’m just not sure I want my stockings to look like ones I’d switch out of IRL for a fresh pair.

As gripes go, however, “you made your textures too realistic” is something I wish I could say to every lingerie designer in SL.

Zaara - Ilaida Mojri Slippers

Complimenting the lingerie, Zaara also offers the Ilaida Mojri Slippers — which are currently only on display at the Shoe Fair. These flats are amazingly detailed and textured. Although made for a size-zero system foot, they can be re-sized on touch and the piping can also be changed to gold or silver on touch. Although I didn’t think it possible, my Shiny Things Brocattos finally have competition in my slippers folder.

If, however, you want something a little more high-heel for your lingerie, I suggest my favorite Shoe Fair find:

*G Field* - Ribbon Slingbacks

These Ribbon Heel Slingbacks from *G Field* are fan-flippin’-tastic and really hit the girly-girl spot for frilly heels. Wonderfully sculpted and textured with gold buckles and satin-shiny removable bows on the toe and backstrap, they offer invisiprims on or off as well and manage to make a system foot look better than it has any right to.

Oh, and they’re only L$180. So go grab a pair, or five. It’ll still be less than most of the overpriced crap at the Shoe Fair.

Where Does She Get Those Wonderful Toys:

Sumana Lingerie – L$250
Ilaida Mojri Slippers – L$345
Zaara

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Zaara/136/132/25

Ribbon Slingback Shoes[V2] – L$180
*G Field*

http://slurl.com/secondlife/YABU/155/130/24

“Don’t compromise yourself. You are all you’ve got.” ~ Janis Joplin

I’ve gotten a few in-world comments from a couple people who tell me that they can’t bridge the disconnect between my “feminist rants” and my “squee! look how pretty!” posts. My virtual fashion lust, they feel, leads others to “take me less seriously” than they think I deserve. The general sentiment is “you should be doing so much more than wasting your time on all that fashion drama.”

Fashion drama? Kittens, I grew up on teh interwebs back when Mac vs PC flamewars were still defining troll and forum tropes. 4chan vs Scientology is drama. SL fashion is just bored housewives and college students being bratty. It’s not like they’re rioting in the stands over men in shorts kicking around a ball or anything.

I know, from the bottom of my heart, that these individuals are well-intentioned, and they are paying generous compliment to my writing, but seriously, if this is how you feel, just get the fuck out of the 50s already. I read any number of blogs where a guy will frequently weave in boy-squee rants about sports teams or the latest techno widget without blinking; I doubt anyone takes their other content less seriously or tells them to move on from iPhone drama.

So, once more for those in the cheap seats:
Virtual fashion and bouncing in girlish delight over pretty things does not remove anyone’s ability for critical thinking, their professional experience, or demean their sense of self. I am human; I have vanity; I embrace the deadly sin. But it alone does not define me. Or anyone.

Just in case you missed it — I’m a girl (BTW, spare me the mock-feminist outrage of “you’re not a girl, you’re a woman.” Girls are girls; boys are boys. Deal with it.). I grew up playing dress up and outfitting dolls, baking bad cupcakes in a box with a lightbulb, and applying cheap makeup onto a disembodied over-sized Barbie head. I also grew up enamored with Erector sets, Lincoln logs, and Legos, playing video games, watching my uncle rebuild his Shelby Cobra as if he were reassembling the Ark of the Covenant, listening to my Dad’s folk rock and my other uncle’s hard rock, and learning how to bait a hook properly.

The fact that I can rig ballyhoo or gaff a mahimahi in the right way so that it damages as little of the fillet as possible, doesn’t negate that I drool over vintage Chanel. The fact that that the words “Marino from the shotgun” can still give me shivers when I’m watching old games on the NFL channel doesn’t remove the reality that I also hum “I Love Being a Girl” while I’m shopping in SL. I don’t understand why those dots are so hard for some people to connect. And maybe it’s just a vocal minority giving me a skewed perspective. But given the amount of “oh those silly fashion girls” crap I read by people claiming to be taking virtual platforms seriously, I think this type of mindset really is as permeating as it seems.

Avatar customization and character immersion is a huge business model and is going to be for a long time. We’ve already got research that demonstrates the visual representations that people bond with can affect them physically and mentally. Tapping into human vanity is marketing 101 for men and women. Yes, many of “those silly fashion girls” are annoying. They’re also driving our virtual economy. And, I promise you they’re no more or less annoying than listening to some idiot try and outline why Lebron James or Brett Favre is the real anti-Christ. Squeeing over make-believe fashion gimcrack is no different from some blogger blathering about how his new iPhoneX.x is ZOMG! BEST! THING! EVER!

So, fair warning — I’m going to blog about pretty things that make me squee beside, around, and in-between all the other “serious stuff” you’ll find here. Given the amount of things that annoy me in SL, I need the squees. The squees are why I’m still in the format. So if that means you take me less seriously, or feel compelled to remove me from your twitter/blog feeds, have at thee. It’s a free world; you can opt-out and I will muster on with life.

All I ask is that you opt-out in silence and don’t moan about it in my IMs; it kills my vanity-drenched, girl-squee, drama-hopping shopping buzz.