“Have you ever thought about how weird it is that when we’re upset, our eyes leak? What kind of sense does that make?” ~ JTL

I’m not usually a person inclined to make a shipwreck of my soul on a blog post, but my world is suddenly a lonelier place and words have always been my best companions and only real outlet in these times.

Today I lost a friend. Actually days ago I lost a friend, but I just found out thirty minutes ago. A real and wonderful friend. A giving, kind, intelligent, loving person who was incredibly dear to me. Yes, he had flaws, being human and all. But he was incredibly smart, talented, full of humor, and even if he hadn’t been all those things, he was someone that has been in my life for more than seven years and I don’t have to sing his praises to defend how much it hurts that he is no longer here.

He’s not the first “online friend” I’ve lost, but right now his loss feels the hardest to bear. It’s so pitifully surreal to get a phone call from a stranger telling you someone you love is gone. There is that awkwardness, knowing they are a family member, knowing they are somewhat uncomfortable and confused when you burst into tears. That bizarre way you have to apologize when you remember the person giving you the horrible news is also dealing with their own loss. I knew all about her, his sister. I could ask after her husband and girls, ask her to please give my deepest condolences to her parents — I know about all of them. For the past several years I picked out their Christmas and birthday presents.

All she could say to me was “we found your name on his list of those we should contact.”

I feel sick.

The last real emails we exchanged were “Happy New Year” things with little links and jokes and “have you seen this” stuff between, but I could (and likely will) crawl back through thousands of messages — the modern catalog of a friendship. I can still read his websites. I can still see his twitters. I can browse his Amazon wishlist. I can still google any number of forum posts. I can still listen to his voicemail message. But I can no longer pick up the phone and tell him to turn it to channel X real quick and tell me who that guy in that show is, or ask him to walk me through installing program Z, or explain to me the historical importance of technology thingys or remind me who did that horrible dance song back in the ‘80 that went “uh-buh-ha-buh” or just talk. His echos are all over the web, but there will be no new content. No updates. No sly, eye-rolling sarcasm. There will be no more litanies about magical Mormon underpants or demonstrations of how he can rattle off exponential tables of 2 into what seems like infinity. There will be no more of those things because there is no more him. And that feels devastatingly unfair; a childishly selfish part of me just wants to keep screaming it’s unfair. It’s unfair. It’s unfair. It’s unfair to him, to me, to everyone that knew him. To everyone that won’t get to know him.

And I’m resisting the urge to call back his emotionally devastated sister and ask what’s going to happen to his cats that he loved insanely — as only the way we thirtysomethings without children can love our pets.

I’m reminded that he suffered from many things over the course of his life. The burden of his flesh was something that plagued him and the slings and arrows of others on that score probably measured for more than anything in regards to his battles with depression, social anxiety and painful shyness. It’s undoubtedly what led to the loneliness that none of his long-distance friends could comfort him through. I knew, as others knew, that he was struggling, but I also knew my options to help were limited beyond expressing my affection for his friendship and listening when he needed to talk. No one else can ever really crawl inside the pain that belongs to another and make it better. Would that we had those magic wands.

I don’t blame him. I don’t blame myself. He lost the war against his own demons and the world is and will always be less without him in it. But I hate it. I hate that all I can offer in the wake of his loss is a lousy blog post, but I don’t get to be in charge of things like national days of mourning.

His response to that would have been “why aren’t we working on that.”

I will miss you profoundly, my dear friend.

“French is the language that turns dirt into romance.” ~ Stephen King

So, I’m just going to admit this — whenever I see a new line that is trying to be all trendy and French, I inwardly cringe. My first thought isn’t that it’s a French designer, but that someone else is trying to be all hip and just learned how to pronounce “couture” from watching Project Runway reruns. So when a friend linked me the very yummy Anglaise cocktail dress and I went to check out AlaFolie, I took a deep breath and decided to deal.

To be honest, I’m not sure what the brand actually is. The store is listed in search as “AlaFolie.” The graphics are “alafolie” with all those cute little European accents. The stuff you open is “A la Folie” or alafolie or some variation (which means everything in your inventory from the place might not be in order — such fun). The designer behind the store, pixivor Allen, has English and French in her profile, so I’m going to lend the benefit of the doubt here. And, for those of you keeping track at home, “A la Folie” means to love madly, or inspire passionate love. I’m going to refer to the line as AlaFolie because that seems to be the variation they use most often.

Don’t panic when you first see the store. Yes, it looks a little like it was built by newbs, but the open-air layout makes it very shop-friendly. Their organization could use a little work, but for the most part it’s a good (ie: not confusing) layout that is easy to move/fly around in. While some of the gowns and dresses in the store can hit the L$1k+ range, most of the items fall in the L$500 - L$750 area, with separates closer to L$200 - L$300. the items I selected were very reasonable — including the one I bought by accident, but we’ll get to that in a moment.

First up, let’s look at Anglaise.

This is a delightful little cocktail dress that has the happy distinction of not being like the other 100030343033034 cocktail dresses in your inventory. In addition to the lovely eyelet lace texturing (yeah, I’m a hippie throwback girl, I’m a sucker for eyelet lace) you have a somewhat unique approach to prims. The skirt is a series of layers upon layers made up of 4 attachments that are around 50 prims each. This gives the skirt a unique movement that is full of energy without suffering from feather duster disease. Obviously it has the standard problems that come with transparencies, but its much less obvious than I’ve seen on some. The bodice attachments of lace ruffles and the fabric rose are all one object that fits onto the chest. It’s 74 prims without resizing scripts and is no-copy. Yeah, I cried, too. That’s the only big complaint I have. You will be able to pass this off to alts or resell, but with so many prims that need resizing to your avatar, making it mod/no copy filled me with dread. Still, after a few minutes of careful tinkering I got to a happy place with it.

The system base elements of the dress are disappointing only because they could have been nummy.

I understand the designer is selling a dress and not singles, but it feels like a missed opportunity when you see things like this. This could so easily have been a cute cami/briefs set, but the choppy unfinished middle thwarts that. Even the pettipants that meet the top don’t quite match up in texture so you couldn’t really use it as prissy boudoir fodder. Still, none of this matters for the dress itself; so long as that’s all your after, these texture layers do their jobs dutifully. Also, it’s worth noting that all the clothing I purchased from AlaFolie is locked on one layer only. The chemise are on top layers, no jacket or undershirt layers, the pants are pants only, etc. If you’re used to swapping about for various things, your options will be limited here.

Now, because I’m a sucker for separates, I also saw and pounced on two separates in the store:

Ain’t it sweet? You’ll notice the eyelet lace skirt is much the same as the Anglaise dress, except in this case there’s these poofy waist prims that are supposed to mimic (I believe) layers of lace wrapped around each other. I don’t think it’s the exact effect they were going after, but I like it. The ivory lace top I picked to go with it is shamelessly romantic and feminine. Like with the dress, it’s the detail in the texturing that wins you over completely.

Again, my only complaint as a consumer is with the system layers:

As you can see, the lace top could be used by itself for a delicate shrug, but it’s only on the shirt layer, so that limits your options. And the pettipants would be absolutely darling on their own — IF THEY ONLY HAD A FINISHED WAIST. It really frustrates me that designers don’t finish off their system layers like this. It’s like prefab builders who don’t texture everything. Still, again, as the price of separates go, these are reasonable and I can accept not being able to mix and match with them. Had I paid a higher premium for these pieces only to find this kind of shoddy work on the bottom layers, though, I’d be disappointed.

Oh, fyi, the top and skirt are not side-by-side in the store, so you’ll have to poke about for them.

Finally, I have to chuckle because the last item I bought from AlaFolie I didn’t intend to buy at all.

Now, I have way too many brown sandals in my inventory to purchase another pair, especially a pair that is as meh as these, but I was clicking wildly and I did something I haven’t done in a long time, I clicked a purchase button just out of habit. These aren’t terrible sandals, but they’re a little too rough for my taste and the texturing on the sculpties is unsophisticated. The prims that make up the soles are also sloppier than I’d expect to see in a quality designer. Not a bad effort for a designer that’s only offering a few shoe selections, but certainly not worth heading out for on their own.

Overall, I have to say that AlaFolie gets an B on what I purchased. The overall effect is straight-As, but the system layers and options are a hard C. I was happy to pay L$400 for the dress and L$200 for the separates, but I’m not sure I’d be willing to plunk down L$1k or more for a formal without getting more information than the display cut-outs offer. As such, two dresses I might have otherwise purchased (L$1000 and L$1500) I ended up passing on.

Where/What/How Much

Dress: (alafolie)Anglaise rouge, L$400
Top: ” A la Folie” chemisier volants dentelles ivoir, L$200
Skirt: “A la Folie”BOLERO” rose clair jupe, L$200
Shoes: “alafolie” SANDALES BROWN, L$400
AlaFolie
http://slurl.com/secondlife/AlaFolie/136/146/38