“That’s the whole trouble. You can’t ever find a place that’s nice and peaceful, because there isn’t any. You may think there is, but once you get there, when you’re not looking, somebody’ll sneak up and write “Fuck you” right under your nose.” ~ J. D. Salinger

Background: It is a running joke that Grace will occasionally play songs with naughty words in them. As these are all good songs (like Damien Rice’s “Rootless Tree” or the Dresden Dolls’ “Sing” or …erm…” Santa Baby”) and often provide us with the opportunity to make her giggle on mic, those of us who frequent such Grace concerts are occasionally in the habit of asking for these songs by less popular names. Tonight’s Grace concert took place on a PG SIM, so she kept such out of her playlist. A few of us didn’t take note. The room monitors, however, were on task:

Names changed to protect…something.

[19:00] V just wants to hear the F word.
[19:00] Z: “F word”
[19:00] X: fuck
[19:00] Room Monitor01: PG SIMS
[19:00] V giggles, “not from you!”
[19:00] Room Monitor01: Please
[19:01] X: oh. sorry
[19:01] Room Monitor01: thank you
[19:01] Room Monitor02: pleas be respectfull as it is a pg
[19:02] X apologizes again
[19:02] Room Monitor01: its ok
[19:02] Room Monitor01: you did not know
[19:02] SS sighs - can’t take X anywhere
[19:02] V: Well even in PG movies you can say the F word once an hour.
[19:02] Room Monitor02: if you must us the uck sylible sue it in the word duck
[19:03] Z will take X anywhere.
[19:03] Room Monitor01: our community is closer to G, but we allow some clothing options
[19:03] X: / thanks, Z

[19:03] Room Monitor02: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!!!!!!
[19:03] Room Monitor02: ___________s§§§§ss.__.ss§§§§§§§§§ss.
[19:03] Room Monitor02: ____________³§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§s.
[19:03] Room Monitor02: _____________§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§s
[19:03] Room Monitor02: _____________§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§O§§§§§s
[19:03] Room Monitor02: ____________s§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§s§§§§§§s
[19:03] Room Monitor02: ___________s§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§§³§§§§§³³³³³’
[19:03] Room Monitor02: __________s§§§§§§§§§§§§§§³³³’
[19:03] Room Monitor02: __________§§§§§§§§§§§§³³’
[19:03] Room Monitor02: _________s§§§§§§§§§³³’
[19:03] Room Monitor02: ________s§§§§§§§§³
[19:03] Room Monitor02: ________§§§§§§³’
[19:03] Room Monitor02: ________§§§§§’
[19:03] Room Monitor02: ________§§§§’
[19:03] Room Monitor02: ________§§§’
[19:03] Room Monitor02: ________§§§
[19:03] Room Monitor02: ________§§§§ssss
[19:03] Room Monitor02: ______s§§§§§§§§§§§s,
[19:03] Room Monitor02: _____s§§§§§§§³³³’
[19:03] Room Monitor02: ____§§§§³³³’

For those keeping track at home: thirty-three vowels are not enough; one also requires a 20 line dolphin macro to clap (or possibly that is even not enough — there were more appearing in room chat as I dashed)…but one fuck was too many.

“As the crow flies / It’s there the truth lies / At the bottom of the well.” ~ Tom Waits, “Starving In the Belly of a Whale”

Does anyone know if the Twitter Fail Whale is a reference to the old infamous exploding whale meme?

This curiosity raises another question — one I asked a friend recently — what’s the oldest internet meme you can remember? I’m thinking “Spam” but that may merely be the oldest one that still survives. Wikipedia credits “spam” use on the interwebs back to the 1980s and pre-AOL BBS days. That feels right, but…hmmm.

Complicating matters is that I’m not sure how widely spread some of the things I’m familiar with from BBS days went into public consumption. Back and forth battles over how torch light would affect characters with infra- and ultra-vision in first edition may have merely been fights my friends and I posted on BBS’s local to our geekdom.

“Beware of the door with too many keys.” ~ Portuguese Proverb

I haven’t been playing my WOW account much lately, but my friends have been using my priest when they need PvE heals. They have also been looting my bank for crafting mats. They had permission, but I admit, I didn’t think they could go through 20 stacks of lichbloom in just a few weeks. They designated a representative from their chapter of Herbwhores, Anon. and he called recently. After confession, I had roughly the following conversation:

Anon. Herbwhore 01: Oh, and I remapped your action bars.
Me: Why?
Anon. Herbwhore 01: I’m not sure how the hell you had them set up, but I needed to assign hotkeys better.
Me: Oh, I never use hotkeys.

(long pause)

Anon. Herbwhore 01: I don’t understand.
Me: I don’t use hotkeys. I just cast.
Anon. Herbwhore 01: Cast how?
Me: I click on the spell icon, duh.
Anon. Herbwhore 01: Then how do you target?
Me: I click on the target.
Anon. Herbwhore 01: Wait. You use the mouse to select target and then you use the mouse to cast?
Me: Yes.
Anon. Herbwhore 01: That’s twice as much… (long pause) …how in the fuck do you heal so fast?
Me: I’m epic, Beavis.
Anon. Herbwhore 01: This is why no one wants to raid with girls.

Interestingly, in a completely unrelated conversation I had today:

Friend: …a 5-button mouse.
Me: Mice have five buttons?

(long pause)

Friend: Yes.
Me: So like, left, right, wheel. What are the other two buttons for?
Friend: Page Forward, Page Back for one.
Me: I just click the Page Forward and Page Back buttons.
Friend: Wait. You don’t use hotkeys or the bottom mouse buttons?
Me: No. I just left-click.

(long pause)

In possibly related news: my left-mouse button appears to be broken and is double-clicking when it should only single-click.

Coincidence?