“Thou wouldest speak, and then hear no reply? ” ~ Sophocles, Antigone

After what can only be described as a surreal and arbitrary experience dealing with Linden Lab customer service, I have finally come to understand the Linden customer service model: Greek Mythology.

Being a resident of Second Life for years now, I’m shocked it took me this long to recognize it. Let’s examine the evidence:

* They often appear amongst us mere mortals unexpectedly — strange in appearance and manner;
* Their laws are customarily declared without warning and accompanied by swift punishment doled out upon hapless individuals to set as example;
* There is, customarily, no method to their practices and behavior;
* They present the pretense of communication with those they rule over, but rarely acquiesce to popular opinion or logic;
* Their priorities are based on vanity and personal desire rather than common good;
* Nepotism and incestuous crossover traditionally trump qualification and ability in establishing their hierarchy

Like foolish mortals destined to be turned to stone or sacrificed upon Trojan battlefields, we have been using reason and rhetoric to vent our woes within this virtual soil. We have pontificated and debated on blogs, forums, and office hour meetings only to find that for all the words and promises, nothing improves and little gets done. No prophet or philosopher can establish a foothold against their whims, and the deus ex machina promises of JIRA go largely unfulfilled.

Once, George Carlin proposed that it made far more sense to pray to Joe Pesci rather than God, if for no other reason than Joe seemed like the kind of guy that could get stuff done. In the spirit of such practical use of prayer, I propose a solution.

In lieu of JIRA or concierge, we should erect sacrificial altars and monuments to various Lindens. We can set forth criteria for priests and priestesses to manage offerings and schedule appropriate forms of worship. The Linden that receives the most sacrifice and worship from we genuflecting masses will then perform the awe-inspiring miracle of fixing something - anything - in their department from the never-ending stack of things that need fixing.The high priests and priestess can be afforded jurisdiction over the penitent and obedient and provide spiritual guidance to those of us who sin against the gods. When we demonstrate the proper level of contrition, we will then no longer seek to fix things that reason tells us should work differently, and not be plagued with the frustrations that come with things like hope or expectation.

It’s a win-win. Residents are provided with something to do that feels purposeful, the Linden gods get the necessary ego stroking to motivate them to appease the foolish mortals just enough to keep the machine in business, the bile of debate boils down to mere muttering, and we get about the same rate of sucess as praying to Joe Peshi.

Alternately, the Lindens could start hiring customer service personnel with experience in actual customer service and communication abilities greater than that of an average three year old, but I think the better bet is on the altar and worship end — it’s far more likely to succeed than expecting real customer service from these gods.

A family’s photograph album is generally about the extended family and, often, is all that remains of it. ~ Susan Sontag

I am very frustrated with the state of equality in America for all Americans these days. I know I should be all “the glass is half full” about the fact that we’re moving (however slowly) toward progress, but somewhere in the last thirty-something years I’ve lost what little patience I ever had. It absolutely drives me up walls that gay marriage isn’t here yet. Being as I’m semi-bi and never planning to marry, it’s not like this applies to me, but I’m just offended (there is no other word for it) as an American that the rights of these individuals (some of whom I love) are tied up at an apparent crossroads of flying spaghetti monster mania and Constitutional duh.

Honestly, I can never be allowed into our nation’s capitol building because I would never stop slapping people — which, I’m pretty sure is probably illegal. At the bare minimum, I’d end up tasered on youtube.

What gets lost in the endless rhetoric, however, is the frustrating WTF reality of situations that have to be faced in self-preservation practicality by members of the gay and lesbian community. In the last week, I’ve encountered two personal stories about such situations that are (and should be) appalling to those of us who actually do consider America to be based on the concept of freedom and justice for all.

The first is the fact that Annie Leibovitz is facing a financial crisis, largely due to tax issues that stem from inheriting her long-time partner’s estate. Granted, the situation isn’t quite that simple. Non-married individuals who inherit art collections often face tax heartache, and certainly Leibovitz’s personal trials are related to other ventures failing, etc. I’m also well aware that at a time when many Americans are facing the loss of their homes and the challenge of putting food on the table, a multi-millionaire shouldn’t be high on the pity list. But the inevitable truth to face here is that if it happens to someone moving within the higher privilege circles of society, it’s certainly happening farther down the food chain. Watching one of of the biggest names in modern photography face choices about placing her and her partner’s life’s work into hock simply because they were never afforded the same rights as most Americans is a gut wrenching statement about how far we’ve yet to go in this fight.

To that end, on a much more “everyman” note, Andrew Sullivan has been sharing reader letters in blog entries he calls “The View From Your Recession.” These vignettes illustrate situations being faced by people tackling the very serious challenges wrought by today’s economic uncertainties. A recent one, talked about a company that was shutting down in Boston and moving to a state with more favorable economic advantages for the company. Employees were given the option to move with the company, or lose their jobs. To anyone, the idea of uprooting and following a job across country is a tough choice, but in Massachusetts that situation can be even more devastating.

The reader writes:

As a single person, it never really hit home how cruel having one state who recognizes gay marriage and another who does not really is. You see, my co-worker married his partner a few years back. They have a house, children, cars, the picket fence. (No dog though.) Though we have never spoken about it, it pains me to think that he is facing a choice between finding a career in a different state and retaining his rights (such as they are) as a father and a husband. How many of us are asked by the government to choose between having a happy family and the financial success that encourages that happiness?

I would never stop slapping people.

There are many silly and ridiculous things about SL and I bitch about most of them along with the chorus, but it should be recognized that, in general, the SL population (as least the segment I encounter) is supportive of LGBT individuals, and their right to equality and dignity. I would wager there are more gay marriages in SL than any single RL country. Hmm. I wonder how we’d try to get stats on that.